Dhan nirankar ji Neelam ji,
We too had this question in mind and it has been beautifully explained by our very own Rev. Joginder S. Puri.
http://www.nirankari.org/literature/books/flashback/Detached%20Attachment.htm
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our answer lies in this line : "As per the very first basic principle of our Mission, if we just see all our possessions. Including our physical body and mind, as a trust from God, we shall not be overly upset as these come and go."If we give a deeper meaning to the word "these"; it means all our relationships also. Hence all these relationships are not going to stay long and if we keep our expectation level very high from them then we'll keep crying the whole life in human form.
And then Prof. ji says further: "If we keep on identifying ourselves with the body
rather than the soul, this craze for worldly desires shall never lead us to real happiness."When we say expect less means, revise this chapter by attending more and more congregations that these relationships are created by chance, that we are one family, we are friends, we are children, husband or wife, they will disconnect anytime. We need to prepare ourselves for that time when our soul will also leave this body
happily.Just like when a girl gets married, she and her family (relationships) are apprehensive about her in-laws. They fear, what kind of treatment will she get, is she happy or not… etc.
But on the other hand, if she already shares a good relationship with the new family, everyone is at ease (the girl and relatives). The parents of the girl love her immensely but their expectations from the girl are zero as they know that she'll leave this home one day. Similarly lowering of the expectation level is very much doable.
Similarly when a baby leaves mother's womb, he/she cries to the fullest of its voice, and later the baby realizes that mama's womb was not the permanent place. Umbilical cord had to be disconnected to give me a better place to live in. So saints, babaji is teaching us that while living in this world we should make a connection with the only home (nirankar). This will lead to a happy exit from this temporary world.
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