Rohaniyat: 5-29-10: Today, in Rohaniyat, we're talking about Anger.
Anger: is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." Buddha said: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; when in reality, you are the one who gets burned because you are holding it. "Anger is a feeling; it's a state of mind, a frustration within ourselves. When we expect something in life, either from someone or some-thing and if we don't get it, our expectations are not fulfilled, and we get angry.
There was once a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he should hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is just as bad as a physical one." Just like they say: Relationships are like porcelain plate, Once broken, can be repaired, but a crack will always be there.
The best way to get away from anger is to release it. By talking to someone and by discussing our state of mind, we can get rid of anger. We have a tendency not to explain our anger to people out in the community, because we know that they are not going to understand our situation. But we usually take it out on our family members because we know that they will understand and we tend to take them for granted. Just remember, anyone can pretend to be nice to the outsiders. Our true nature is the one that we portray to the near and dear ones at home. What we are at home, is our real self, because we need a comfort zone in which we can BE our own selves.
A Guruji once asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?' Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the Guru. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?' Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the Guru.
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts become distant from each other. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that created distance.'
Then he asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
Then he continued; the more they love each other, softer their speech leading into whispers. Finally they need not even whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.
1. For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness....
2. Anger begins with vengeance, ends with repentance...
3. An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes...
4. Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind...
5. Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame...
6. Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret...
7. When anger rises, think of the consequences...
8. When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry count to one hundred...
9. The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk...
10. Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you are...
"Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten."
Keep smiling God has blessed only human being with smile. You will never see cows, donkeys or dogs smiling. Thank God for this wonderful gift.
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'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the Guru. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?' Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the Guru.
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts become distant from each other. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that created distance.'
Then he asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'
Then he continued; the more they love each other, softer their speech leading into whispers. Finally they need not even whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.
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